hhhheeeeeeeelllllpppppppp pppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! got a maths test and i gonna fail need 2 chose my subjects 2day aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgg gggggggggghhhhhhh

cant cope anyway g2g

sho

MY FREND THINKS SHE FAT AND SHES A SIZE 8 I A SIZE 10 SHE ANNOYING ME Y DOES EVRY1 WANNA B THIN? ANYWAY C U L8R SHO

PLEASE LEAV A COMMENT SO SHE CAN SEE HOW SAD SHES BEING

Ok so i had nearly finished a really long blog entry wen mike (king of the tossers) came up behind me (which i wud of heard but my music was preety loud...) and deleted it all cos he sed it was 2 depressing (bastard) anyway t has helped me put sum preety pictures on my blog yesterday. I like calling for tugce i wish she was my lil sister. Being an only child is preety crap.

Its starting 2 flood at my skool so i might get sent home. *yay* anyway ive gotta go 2 my fizz lesson c ya l8r

shox

Well ive thought of my 10 resolutions (and if i brake any i give permission 2 t 2 hit ova the hed with a bible)

1.I will look on the more positive side of life and stop being so morbid and depressing

2.I will take witchcraft more seriously and finish building my new alter

3.I will spend more time with my frends (and make more)

4I will stick 2 the lil promise i made (t u no wot im talking bout)

5.I will find nice normal boyfrend (o.k so mayb a bit insane and fun)

6.Find a hidden talent

7.Find a good point about myself

8.Dye my hair sum really interesting colours

9.Watch all the films i keep meaning 2 c at a big sleepova

10.And finally stop biting my nails-its minging and ill never be able 2 grow them long and paint cobwebs on them..

So thats my list and im sticking 2 it oh and 4 those of u who now me we need 2 organise a shopping trip with every1 (and that means eve and holly 2)

anyway cya   shoXxX

Xmas is ova and down with now we can move on and start the new year wich will no doupt b worse than this 1 and thhere will b more fallouts, fights, brokenhearts, setbacks and pain. I am sat here wondering if theres really any point in me living another year, another year at the hellhole and i really no the answer its no. I dont exactly no y im here in the 1st place as i only upset, annoy and depress other people i am only punishing myself by existing and it wud b better 4 alot of peeps if i wasnt here

panda

yay....nearly xmas and im gonna get lots of pressies lol im so happy 1 day of the yeah i actually feel happy its so amazing *smiles* went last minute shopping yesterday and i got a lovely new hat and sum purple hair dye-no1 can call me a dumb blonde now! found sum preetiful spell books that i want so ally im dragging u 2 ottakers in janysales also found t a preety kurt cobain bday card which is v.spoogly (copyright of randomexpiredfreek)

look v.rough 2day wearing v.old fadedtop,baggies and a hoody that got completely nackered in the bloody wash. my hair is a mess and i have no makeup on so i look an alien and my excema has got worse well thats life 4 u the popular 1s r preety and the losers r ugly

anyway b4 any1 reading kills themselves of boredom ill go cya sho

Well wot eventful things hav happened recently? Ah yes well i am in glasgow and its nearly spoogly xmas and its v.spoogly. T went ova on her ankle wen we were walking back from spar and she is probably all happily listening 2 loud music my dear lil ant is suffering ebay withdrawl so ill c u l8r hav a gr8 xmas t

panda

*sighs* Im so bored sat in ICT it crap we doing fuckall and im bored sum1 pleese leave a comment im all alone and cant b arsed 2 talk 2 any1 wanna go home c ya l8r t

panda

hey im startin 2 feel alot better alredy. Me happy-shocking but true. It wont last 4 long i will be all depressed again soon. Im enjoying it while it lasts and have tied my hair up so  i have nothing 2 hide bhind. Its also nearly xmas so i get lots of cool new stuff and we get time off skool. Got music next and mrt is doing a quiz about nirvana,led zeppelin,marilyn manson and slipknot-ha ha ha

cya panda

yuck got history next and a headache hate school feelin a bit better since i saw t anyway cya

panda

It was presnt giving day 2day so i have lots of spangly spoogly gifts-

Ally has got me a coffin shaped handbag

Nikki got me a silver spiders web

Brack got me a black scarf and a shiny disco ball

Holly got me a cute skull sweatband

As lovely and heart warming as these spangly spoogly gifts r i still feel depressed and alone. Here is a preetiful list aof things that r making me depressed-

1.I am ugly

2.I have a splitting headache

3.I am still single and alone (and bored)

4.I am worthless and unwanted

5.I am bein seriously torn apart by my 2 lives+personalities

6.I feel lonely and rejected from life

7.I have been constantly put down by others around me and voices inside my head

Well ta-ra my lil 1s

from

a v.sad panda *huggles evry1 and curls up 2 cry*

Wot is the point in evrything i hate my existance it sux i wanna die i cant stop going thro different ways 2 commit suicide i have got lots of plans iv not been this bad sinse y7 and i feel nothing but an aching pain which is only stopped by pain, my best frend. iI dont remember the last time i was ever really happy. I have been so false 4 almost a year 2 be liked more and i cant keep up pretendin happy i wanna end this.

nothing is wot it seems anymore

panda

Hey folks. V.bored. All i wanna do is go and c my lil gibbon t who is off skool ill and is also the only 1 who gives a shit bout me.

Every1 was staring at me 2day 4 sum reason i cud start up a staring shop *ponders* ill b rich. Nah id hav 2 pay peeps 2 stare at me.

Sum complete tosser spat at me 2day-im luved. I kept thinking about my death 2day i dont know y. T if u r readin this please leav a comment i feel so lonely.

I wanna hav my own little group somewhere i was accepted the way i am without being judged. I wish i cud relax and act normal around peeps insteed of worring wot they will think-who cares.

Anyway c u l8r

panda

Shit ive just read my last blog i feel like such a bitch. Brack is now wearing half a sleeve. Underneath it are lots of cuts. She is making it so fucking obvious by taking off her jumper and showing it off. I asked her y but she sed she couldnt tel me cos i wud b mad at her. Hell yeah.I am not speakin 2 her if she is going 2 be so pathetic i hav driven 3 peeps 2 self harm now

panda

Due 2 a V.NICE comment i hav decided that the topic 4 this entry shall be about critisism. i think if u hav ever looked at sum1 and thought 'theyre a freek' or 'theyre not cool' then pls read this. u dont have the rite 2 judge any1 even if u hav met them and aspecially if u hav only read their blog vagely *expired* which mite i add is completely pathetic. try getting 2 no sum 1 first insted of instantly labeling them...say,a WANNABE. im so sorry *raised eyebrow* if iv affended u expired but if u have a prob with me then PISS OFF no1 is forcing u 2 read my blog. correct me if im wrong but my life has nothin 2 do wif u so pls dont interfere

CLOTHES SHOW

was gud got a cute hoody and sum hair extensions want 2 die my hair black but purple at the ends *ponders* ah ha i cud try it out............. anyhow,who cares gotta go and hopefully die

cya panda

p.s HEY T GET WELL SOON *HUGGLES GOTHIKGURL*

hi peeps life sux i hate myself skool is shit notes frm 2day-nothing happend

cya panda:(

doodles sux cos he has more m8s thn me and he smells and he is richer than me and cleverer than me and i am a loser

panda

wish there was sum way to just disappear into the night into dark nothingness. i feel emptyness welling inside me i wanna curl up and die and end this exuse 4 a life (a blessing without disguise)no1 will miss me the world can party without the worlds biggest bitch. listening 2 DUALITY music makes me feel better and it takes away the voices. its a world where were all accepted-even ugly peeps like me. feel disgusted with myself 4 being me. im nasty and bossy 2 other peeps and get sympathy off my wonderful frends *huggles frends-but not eve*

my r aching now so ill go and wilt away now*huggles arms* thanx 4 being such a gud m8 t *huggles gothikgurl* and the rest of u

cya panda :(

I HAVE PONDERED LONG AND HARD OVA THIS 1 AND I STILL HAVENT CUM UP WITH A SOLUTION WOT IS PREETY? EVERY1 HAS A DIF CONCEPT OF PREETY I THINK PREETY IS HAVING LONG BLACK STR8 HAIR PALE SKIN AND LOTS OF PIERCINGS AND TATS BUT MOST GIRLS AT MY SKOOL THINK ITS HAVING BARBIE DOLL HAIR JORDAN SLAP AND SLUTTY TOGS WHICH I H8 WOTIS PREETY PLS LEAV AN ANSWER CYA PANDA

Bad day armstrong has given us another lunchtime detention. tosser! The guy i like thinks im a loser and my best frends probabaly h8 me ive done some xmas shopping with al.when i was there i saw kat,both the taras,alex,rob,j,faggy,be aver,sue,jon+jan,my old french teacher and many more peeps i cant remember. going 2 kendal again on saturday with al brak nik t and eve(?) wich will b gud there is a cool stall on the outdoor market that sells pentacles,band murchandise and coffin handbags(al has got me 1 4 xmas) i bought a coffin necklace there it v.preety. I wish i lived with my dad and my stepmum it wud b so cool but they live in between kendal + oxinholme and most my m8s live here in windermere with me. *ponders...*

cya panda

:evil:another shitty skool day! dead impressed with my cute little rebely feotusthings in jars. they r v.sweet and amusing. going 2 c kittys band perform at the plough 2nite cant w8 it will b v.v.v.v.awsome!!!!!!!!!!

want 2 move skools but my evil mum wont let me*runs after mum with knife screamin die*BITCH hate the lakes (no offence to anyone who also goes there)

cant stop blaming myself 4 wot nikki did (my m8s will no wot im talkin bout) its all my fault soz nik

feel so ugly all the girls in my class r preety including my frends. none of the lads like me (including the 1 i like) and it gets me down i guess but i suppose looks arent everything and id rather b hated 4 who i am than loved 4 who im not

pandaxx

yyyyyyyaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

got marilyn manson 'lest we forget' off my lil frend ally whyo mite b doing copies 4 t and yasmin 2. listening 2 the nobodies-my special song. feel a bit better than yesterday im so lucky 2 have a frend like t yet i act so selfish and moan about everything when there r peeps in poverty wich isnt fair. y cant we all b equal the whole fucking world living as equaly well off. but thats how the world is-unfair! it sucks!

staying @ my dads on saturday nite*smiles* i dont have 2 put up with my bloody mother 4 a whole weekend *yay*    anyway im off 2 go and talk bout death,marilyn and pink gibbons or woteva with t so ill c u l8r my lil gibbons      

pandaxxx